


Pride and Peace

by BrklynVan



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Canon, Canon Compliant, Fanfic, Fluff and Angst, Harry Styles Loves Louis Tomlinson, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, The X Factor Era, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, one direction - Freeform, rolling stone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:47:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27323716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrklynVan/pseuds/BrklynVan
Summary: Louis stays off of social media and mostly out of the public eye as much as he can. So, when his publicist calls him at 7 AM to tell him that Harry Styles is releasing a Rolling Stone article in which his name appears many times he doesn't know what he is supposed to feel.“I got an email from Harry Styles’ team today about a piece in Rolling Stone. You are mentioned a few times and Mr. Styles wants your approval.” Louis can feel his heart drop and sudden panic makes his head feel heavy. He is quick to calm himself down and realize it could just be about their time in One Direction.“Ah, like music-related and shit?” He asks in hopes she will confirm it’s only about One Direction and he can go back to sleep.“Some parts, yes. I have sent it over to your email. Just to get an idea, It’s a..- its dropping for Pride Month.”
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 23
Kudos: 363





	Pride and Peace

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave me feedback!   
> Also just want to clarify - this is clearly fiction - no interview/article in this is real. This is not meant to be disrespectful it is only fiction.

Louis stays off of social media and mostly out of the public eye as much as he can. He has good publicists, who he pays too much, to deal with unwanted articles and paparazzi pictures. So, when his publicist calls him at 7 AM, Louis has a gut feeling it’s not about anything good.

“Elo?” Louis sits up and clears his throat several times, so he doesn’t sound drunk with sleep.

“Morning Louis It's Jen. Sorry to wake you. There are a few things I need to brief you on today preferably before a certain article goes live in the next few days.” Louis has dealt with this before but the panic in Jen’s voice puts him on edge.

“What’s going on?”

“I got an email from Harry Styles’ team today about a piece in Rolling Stone. You are mentioned a few times and Mr. Styles wants your approval.” Louis can feel his heart drop and sudden panic makes his head feel heavy. He is quick to calm himself down and realize it could just be about their time in One Direction.

“Ah, like music-related and shit?” He asks in hopes she will confirm it’s only about One Direction and he can go back to sleep.

“Some parts, yes. I have sent it over to your email. Just to get an idea, It’s a..- it's dropping for Pride Month.”

_And oh. Not about One Direction at all._

Louis feels sick to his stomach and feels anger rising in his chest. Harry can have the courage to come out and possibly discuss the ins and outs of their past, but not have the courage to come directly to Louis himself?

Now look who’s the coward, he thinks.

“Oh, fuckin hell.” Louis sighs loudly and tells Jennifer he will read over it, although he’s sure he will not approve just like he didn’t with the Euphoria episode that no one ever discussed with him but apparently Harry gave “all his love”.

Louis wanted to be mad about that and he was, but he fucking loved the show, so he bit his tongue as much as he could.

Louis opens the email and clicks the attachment labeled **_H. Styles RS_**

It’s a full-spread draft of what the article will look like as well as the print version set to be printed and released by the end of the month. The cover is a picture of Harry turned to side glancing at the camera with a shadow of a rainbow prism shining right on his face.

Louis stares at the cover for a few long minutes because he thinks it resembles a beautiful renaissance painting and he can’t pull his off of Harry’s. He wants to be happy for Harry so badly but knowing his name is possibly plastered all throughout this article, he is reminded of the anger he felt only ten minutes ago.

Louis finally scrolls far enough to see the interview with Harry.

___________

**_Pride and Peace with Harry Styles_ **

Harry Styles sits comfortably on his suede couch tapping on his phone. He shows me pictures of his recent vacation to Japan. I have had the pleasure of interviewing Harry once before for the release of his album, Fine Line, over a year ago now. He was polite and poised then and still is, but there is a different tone to him today. He seems nervous but hopeful. His sister, Gemma, sits next to him rolling her eyes at a video of Harry singing Karaoke at some small hole in the wall bar in Japan he says he always makes a point to visit.

Gemma tells me he is only stalling, and Harry agrees.

Harry Styles’ life in the past 2 to 3 years has been anything but normal. From boy-bander to solo artist to actor. The list goes on really. He seems to have dipped his toe in most areas of the entertainment industry, but for the past few months Harry distanced himself completely from the industry, social media, and well as he puts it, “himself”. Only after a soul searching trip to a few countries with his close friends and family, he claims he was ready to face what was weighing heavy on his chest.

_Who he really is._

Harry has always been confidently himself publicly and has always spoken on the toxicity of gender roles and masculinity. However, Harry says there are a few things he was never confident about despite what the media portrays or insinuates.

Sexuality has always been taboo with Harry. It was on his _do not ask_ list for interviewers for years, he says while laughing, assumingly at himself. While it is a slight invasion of privacy to flat out ask about sexual preference for the whole world to know, but maybe also internally conflicting.

Harry confirms with a shaky sigh, he was _very_ conflicted.

During his time with One Direction, he was painted as the womanizer of the group, _a sex symbol_ even, which of course made him very uncomfortable. While, yes, he agrees he was having flings and one-night stands with beautiful women, he was also trying to bury something he knew to be true for certain.

_He liked men too._

**If you were asked, you always claimed you never put a label on your sexuality.**

Right. Which I felt was odd and to an extent still is. It was my way of avoiding it entirely and also a small fuck you to those who felt ok to prod at that. There is always speculation and rumors and that’s fine it is part of – this (the industry), but it was another thing to ask, “Hey, are you gay?” and expect a, “oh yes I am!” It’s like this is a stranger, who has no idea what I’m going through, just asking or insinuating during an interview or live radio show. It was adding to this pressure to come out, but I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to.

**Although during One Direction, you were painted as a promiscuous womanizer in the media, rumors about your sexuality were not something that only began with your solo career, correct?**

No. Pretty early on (during One Direction) fans suggested I was in a relationship with Louis (from One Direction). We were really close friends from the start and pretty vocal about it. It was in the media for a while. I believe It started as a joke amongst fans but then barreled into a whole theory we were in a relationship..- romantic relationship. Yeah – quite a lot of articles and interviews mentioning it.

_The theory in question Harry speaks about began while One Direction was rising to fame. Fans claimed band member Louis Tomlinson and Harry were romantically involved. After further research, this theory goes deeper than expected, and at the root of it all is, Louis and Harry weren’t allowed to openly be together due to harsh management conditions, which Harry confirms was never the case. Management wasn’t keeping the two from publicly being together, he was._

**So, a theory that wasn’t really too far off from the truth?**

I think it’s tricky because I’m not the only one that was involved in this and I cannot speak for Louis but on my part, no, not too far off. Initially, we were best friends and then if someone points out or asks, “are you two dating or do you two fancy each other” constantly, you start to question it like – “hm do I?”

**Not to mention, you were both young and assumingly still trying to figure out for yourself your own sexuality.**

Exactly. I think he (Louis) played a huge part in me discovering that I was maybe bi-sexual. I did fancy him, and It was terrifying to me then. I grew up in school dating girls and then I’m thrown into this career, this new lifestyle, and still dating girls. Then I meet and have this really close friendship with Louis and I’m like, “oh shit”.

**Was it something he knew you were struggling with? Or anyone in the band? Your family?**

No, I think.. I bottled it up for a long time until I was ready. I ended up telling him eventually which went way better than expected. Very understanding, I think it brought us closer for a while. I think it was the first time I was able to truly love someone and feel at peace with it. Just a lot of acceptance.

**I can’t imagine being in love or even just infatuated with a band member or may I say co-worker- where you spent the majority of your time, and not having some kind of space. Did it add pressure or strain to the rest of the band or the friendship?**

The band? I don’t think so. Mine and Louis friendship, yes. Which definitely later probably affected the band in some way.

**They say to never get involved with someone you work with.**

Ah, but young love..

**You mentioned Louis is an integral part of discovering your sexuality.**

He is and he always will be. I don’t think I would be so comfortable with who I am if it weren’t for him. I was able to come to terms with being bi-sexual, because he was so accepting and I think we were kind of going through that together in some way, both finding ourselves.

_______

Louis eventually finishes the article that goes on to discuss why coming out changed Harry's life, why he wants to go public with his sexuality now, and discusses how he is at peace with how he carries himself. Louis feels like his chest is caving in.

He feels happy for Harry, but also a yearning for himself.

Louis decided early on coming out or even discussing his sexuality with the media wasn’t for him, but he knows there will always be speculation. Especially if he was to ever date a man publicly.

Harry always had a way of talking in circles, talking around the truth, and in a way that’s what he did. He came out, yes, but he did it in a way without bringing Louis out with him and he appreciates it.

He is flooded by memories of Harry and how much they really did love each other before it took a turn. Louis thinks, maybe in another lifetime they could’ve made it work. They could’ve put an actual label on whatever relationship they had, or maybe even held hands in public from time to time.

Instead, they were left with secrets, confusion, hurt, and cheating.

Some part of him feels hurt that Harry sent this for approval through a third party. Why not just fucking call him? Although he knows these days, they don’t do that anymore.

Louis picks up his phone and calls his publicist back.

“You can give them the go-ahead.”

“You want me to approve? There is going to be a lot of backslide from it we are going to have to address Louis.” She sounds surprised and almost irritated and it makes Louis flinch as if someone is raising their hand up to hit him.

“Innit’ it your fookin’ job? Did you even know that ’m gay?” Louis raises his voice and the other end of the line is quiet.

“Ok, Louis. I will give them approval. I just need you to be prepared for what comes next.” He knows he not prepared for speculation like this, but he knows he will handle it. Louis hurries his publicist off the phone and is now staring down at a contact on his phone.

**Harry S.**

He knows it’s only 8 AM but Harry always was an early riser. He clicks the green call button without hesitation and thinks of all the other times he has hesitated. Not now.

The long dial tones leave Louis antsy and then Harry picks up.

“Morning Louis.” Immediately Louis thinks Harry has always sounded better saying that in-person and Louis would know. Louis knows now he was expecting a call from him.

“Morning Harry.” Louis has his phone on speaker now, lying down and chewing on the corner of his fingernail.

“Are you pissed?” Harry asks after a long silence, that was making both of them go crazy.

Now Louis understands why Harry wasn’t the one to call him about the article. Louis did always have a temper.

Louis lets out a nervous laugh at his question and sighs before responding, “m’ happy for you Harry.”

“A lot to wake up to, yeh, but.. happy for you.” He continues and waits for Harry but that long silence comes again before Harry speaks up.

“Thank you, Louis. Uh.. I want you to know, you can say the word and we will have the whole draft pulled and scrapped.. I don’t-.. I don’t want to make anything harder for you.” Harry lets out a shaky breath, making the phone speaker rattle with static. “-Thought you’d tell me to fuck right off.” He adds with a small laugh and Louis grins.

“To be honest, I want too but I.. I get it. I can handle things on me end, don’t pull it. You’ve.. you’ve wanted this.”

“Thank you. Louis I really- I don’t want to out you or add pressure if you are still figuring ever-” Louis stops him.

“No.. not outing me. Just uh.. Ha, adding fuel to the fire, sure.. but listen, I appreciate you going about how you did. Really.” Louis _is_ still figuring himself out, but he also knows he always needed a push, and maybe this is just a gentle one.

Harry laughs softly at Louis’s snide but friendly remark.

“Are you in London?” Harry asks and Louis thinks he can hear hope in his voice.

“I am.”

“Do you want to get dinner?”

___

When Louis gets a text, Harry is in his driveway, he panics and rushes to finish getting ready. After making dinner plans with Harry this morning, he may have laid in bed all day and questioned too much.

When Louis finally does get into Harry's car his nerves triple by the second, because Harry is _Harry_. Louis swears he smells the same and he definitely still has the same bright eyes and smile he did since the last time Louis saw him, which was far too long ago.

“Good to see you,” Harry speaks slower than normal and they hug unconventionally over the large middle console.

“Yeh, you as well mate.” Louis mentally tells himself to fuck off for calling Harry mate. Harry always hated it when Louis did that.

The drive is quiet with a few small comments and questions here and there. “Is the heat up too high?” or “I’m starving.”

They arrive at the small Italian restaurant and immediately are taken to be seated in a private area of the restaurant. Harry thanks the host by first name and Louis grins because of course, Harry is a regular here.

Louis and Harry both take off their warm coats and settle in with small talk about the menu, before eventually putting their orders in.

“You have a nice time on tour?” Harry speaks up after taking a sip of his red wine and Louis is surprised he even knows he recently finished up his tour.

“I did, yeh. It was amazing. Got to actually see a lot this time around.” Louis made sure to schedule enough time between shows to sightsee and explore cities that he had been to plenty of time with One Direction but never actually got to see.

“What was your favorite place?” Harry has a look of concentration and interest on his face and it makes Louis sweat a little. This feels too formal, too unfamiliar. Harry and Louis haven’t spoken like this, just about themselves, in years and Louis feels like he can’t remember how. 

“Still Paris. Breathtaking every time.” Louis says without thinking and curses himself again. Paris was their place. Where Louis feels he truly fell in love with Harry. Harry has a grin on his face, still listening intently.

Before it gets too awkward or too much, Louis speaks up again trying to change the subject.

“You working on anything new?”

“m’ writing but haven’t started recording and all. Just trying to get through the whole..coming out.. first.” And right. The reason they are at dinner in the first place.

“Right. Yeh. Well.. It was a good article, I’m sure you will get nothing but praise Harry.” Louis says and Harry only nods.

“Thank you.. again Louis.. I know it’s not the easiest and I could’ve just posted something on Instagram, been done with it, and not mentioned you at all but um..” Harry clears his throat and rubs his sweaty palms on his thighs before continuing.

“You’re a huge part of me finding myself and why I’m comfortable with who I am.” Louis nods along as Harry speaks.

“- Always going to be thankful for that.” Harry finishes. Louis shakes his head and lets out a small laugh.

“You’re gonna make me ego too big, Harry.” Harry laughs and Louis is now the one with sweaty palms.

He continues, “- I’m thankful for you too Harry.. Just always takes me a bit longer than you to figure meself out. I uh.. I’m at a place where I feel like I do know who I am, just not ready to tell millions. Want it to be mine for a while.” Louis hasn’t felt like he was living his own life for a very long time. Everything about him, his family, his friends, was always plastered online for anyone to see.

He couldn’t even have one drunk night out like a normal twenty-something without it being a headline. So, if he can keep one thing for himself as long as he sees fit, it’s his sexuality. He wants to be fully ready and confident in himself when he does finally make that public.

Hell, who knows maybe he will ring up Rolling Stone too.

“m’ proud of you Lou.” Harry says and by instinct, Harry grabs Louis’s hand restringing on the table.

“Proud of you too Harry.” He gives his hand a squeeze and they stay like that for a while.

They both let out long breaths at the same time, making them both giggle. The tension seems to dissipate, and the air is not as thick as it once was.

“Heavy stuff..” Harry says with a breathy laugh.

“Now that all that’s out of the way..your photos with Rolling Stone were beautiful. They looked great.” Louis says with a little more courage now.

“Oh, thank you Lou.” Louis notices Harry pinching at the corner of his lip, a habit he always did when his nerves got the best of him.

-

After a lot of pasta, a little too much wine, and light flirting between the two, dinner is over, and Louis and Harry make their way through a crowd of paps back to Harry’s car. Pictures are taken, questions are asked, but neither of them cares. They both feel that they both understand their place now and confident about who they are.

“Want to come back to mine? Watch a movie, have some wine?” Harry asks, eyes focused on the road, not daring to look over at Louis. Louis agrees before speaking up, “that what you do these days? Wine and a film..” That makes Harry look over to Louis and bust out a loud laugh.

“I mean really, you used to never sit through a movie, I would get so mad at you.” Louis shakes his head and rolls his eyes playfully.

Louis soon learns nothing really changed because they get to Harry’s and settle in for a movie, but Harry is the same old Harry. Louis must be the same old Louis because soon he’s telling him to just “watch the fookin’ movie” and Harry is laughing.

Somewhere in the middle of the movie, it is now Louis who can not sit still. He can feel Harry’s eyes on him.

“You need something curly?” Louis finally asks making eye contact with Harry, using a nickname that hasn’t left his lips in years.

Harry doesn’t hesitate to move closer and press his lips onto Louis’s. Louis hesitates at first but gives in. Years of memories flood Louis's mind, and a few years of yearning for the boy he never stopped loving. Eventually, the two pull apart and finish watching the last ten minutes of the movie cuddled up against each other.

The movie ends and Louis did intend on leaving but Harry insists he stay, and he can’t say no to Harry. Especially when he kisses him like that and tells him he just missed him too much.

Not now.

So, when Louis wakes up the next morning tangled in Harry’s sheets and wrapped in Harry’s arms, he’s glad he didn’t leave.

**One Year Later**

It is almost eight in the morning when Harry’s phone starts buzzing on his side table waking him abruptly.

He usually would let it ring but he realizes it’s his manager and answers quickly.

“Hey Harry, Sorry it's early. I need you to check your email for me and read over some things.” Harry sleepily agrees without asking questions.

The phone call ends, and he pulls up his new email from Jeff.

**_Tomlinson’s team needs your approval._** One attachment labeled **Tomlinson R.S.**

He clicks the attachment and smiles when he sees Louis on the cover of Rolling Stone with the headline in bold letters **Who I Was and Who I Am.**

He rolls out of bed and goes into the kitchen.

“Morning love.” Louis turns from his coffee at the table and smiles up at a sleepy Harry with disheveled hair. 

“You’re hilarious..” Harry says his voice thick with sarcasm. He holds up the cover of Rolling Stone that is still pulled up on his phone.

“..Apparently, your team needs my approval,” Harry adds while taking a seat next to Louis at the kitchen table.

“Thought it was only fair love.” Louis lets out a laugh and leans over to place a kiss on Harry’s lips.

“Well I approve, I’m sure you can pass that on to your team?” Harry pulls Louis into his lap and begins placing small kisses on Louis's neck and collar bone.

“So proud of you baby.”

And Louis is proud of himself too.


End file.
